I AM GUILTY

I admit nothing other than a constant guilt that refuses to release me on my own recognizance. I continue to pay over and over for what I've done and it drives me to the edge again and again, and it is only the ability to revel in not giving in that keeps me alive.

Forget where it all started. It's rather clear to me now.

I was born October 12, 1977...Monterey Ca. At least, that's what it says on my birth certificate. I can't testify to it, since I was only the reason, not a party to it.

How did I get here? Well, I'd rather not admit that I came from a woman who abused me physically <to the point of beating me unconcious on one occasion and then lying about it later> and emotionally <to the point of making me question why I bothered living, only to find out she didn't want me anyway. >

So we'll just say it was some divine thing, like immaculate conception/gestation/and delivery.

I graduated high school in 1995.

I moved out and discovered my desire for women.

I married June 23, 1996

I had a son March 19, 1997, and a daughter March 4, 1998.

I have forasken christianity to be a pagan.

<a satanic viking nudist using real heads on the 'cut and pillage'>

I am a writer, a singer, one of the best exotic dancers you'll ever see and a performer in Renaissance faires around the state.

My favorite holiday is Yule/Twelfth Night <christmastime>.

I love reading Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Anne McCaffery <minus her different overused word in each book>, David Eddings, and lots of others.

I listen to everything from classical to techno to new age.

I love movies and shopping and going to the beach.

While my favorite time is nighttime, I don't scream and run from sunlight. Except when I first wake up. <GOD THAT SUCKS!>

I have my good qualities, like a wild sense of humor. I'm crazy and fun when you catch me at it.

I have my not so good qualities. I'm disturbed and depressed. I lose my temper sometimes. But I'm working on that part.

I have questionable views and opinions.

I'm not always on your side, nor your enemy's.

I'm fairly asexual. I'm not intrested in orgasm, or pleasure. I detest the act of sex most of the time.

I'm a fucking psychotic, get used to it.

I like the word fuck alot too. It has an esthetic sound to it, and it makes me laugh when used in the proper intresting application.

You make me out to be something before you meet me, and I will become that.

ICQ Message Me

A Brief Look at the Flesh

this is how I was visualized by a friend

what do you think?

You are forsaken soul number Would you stay lost?